tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post6699175642745570948..comments2023-06-14T02:57:20.800-05:00Comments on This Ro(a)mantic Life: Making roomThis Ro(a)mantic Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09324882155203905958noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post-58762813265162512602012-10-11T15:07:07.712-05:002012-10-11T15:07:07.712-05:00Thanks, Kristen. It's all about navigating tha...Thanks, Kristen. It's all about navigating that tricky minefield of what to say and how to say it in order to place boundaries where I'm comfortable rather than having to make boundaries out of silence and physical walls. I know if I don't figure out a way, I'll turn into a hermit whenever D's mother is around, and I'm not inclined to become one!<br /><br />I am glad you get along with your mother-in-law. I have empathy for your husband -- strained relations in one's immediate family are just as painful if not more so.This Ro(a)mantic Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09324882155203905958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post-24490307093326573312012-10-10T15:15:19.045-05:002012-10-10T15:15:19.045-05:00Ahh, mothers-in-law. They are a tricky lot, are th...Ahh, mothers-in-law. They are a tricky lot, are they not? Family dynamics are always slippery, but, in my experience, there's something extra twisty when it comes to mothers and their sons - which, of course, applies to both of us. (But I know neither of us will be a MIL from Hell!)<br /><br />My mother-in-law is a force of nature. She is a powerful, difficult women. But in my marriage, she and I get along fine, whereas she and her son (i.e. my husband) barely communicate. And things have only gotten more difficult between them since we had kids.<br /><br />I too will keep my fingers crossed for you, hoping that you manage to keep her at bay and that she finds a way of making you want to let her in (if that makes any sense).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post-39998407931906744252012-10-06T11:54:35.859-05:002012-10-06T11:54:35.859-05:00BLW -- I figured some people might be amused :). T...BLW -- I figured some people might be amused :). There is a long history that explains what personality differences keep me from being able to like my mother-in-law, but the primary things that repeatedly get in the way are (1) socially awkward comments that I don't have any way to respond to politely and (2) her inability to read social cues that most people seem to recognize. Communication, then, becomes a frequent struggle -- I can't bring myself to be as blunt as is necessary to get her to recognize my boundaries for herself instead of having to distract her from getting too close to them. I'm still trying to figure out what I can do that won't also offend D. (She <i>is</i> his mother, after all.) I appreciate your finger-crossing ...<br /><br />Nitewriter -- I use the time zone difference between our cities as a convenient reason not to call. "Oh, when I checked my phone messages, it was already too late in the evening to call you back, so I thought I'd e-mail instead."This Ro(a)mantic Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09324882155203905958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post-54190199972484148912012-10-06T05:22:42.155-05:002012-10-06T05:22:42.155-05:00CT - I'm famous for avoiding the phone. Gotta ...CT - I'm famous for avoiding the phone. Gotta LOVE caller ID! "oh you called? I'm so sorry. I forgot to check the voice mail when I got home." After a while, I had a reputation for being absent-minded about voice mail. I rarely checked that little red blinky light on the cordless phone. <br /><br />And as for cell phone? MIL only had DH's number. Never gave her my cell number.Nitewriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02003748081529399564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post-25219048719802505242012-10-05T20:17:56.755-05:002012-10-05T20:17:56.755-05:00I smiled reading this. I actually loved my in-laws...I smiled reading this. I actually loved my in-laws, and wished they were closer. My own mother... a different story. And a long history that explains it.<br /><br />But what is it about her that bugs you? If you know, is it anything you can do something about - or she could?<br /><br />As for in-laws moving closer and you don't want them to, my fingers are crossed for you. No one needs that pressure when things aren't smooth as silk. On the other hand, once your son is here, you <i>will</i> want breaks, and family can provide them if they're anywhere in the vicinity.BigLittleWolfhttp://dailyplateofcrazy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post-52948773396085741752012-10-04T16:08:33.156-05:002012-10-04T16:08:33.156-05:00Danelle -- thanks for visiting. I appreciate the g...Danelle -- thanks for visiting. I appreciate the good wishes! We need all we can get.<br /><br />Nitewriter -- I see you've reinvented your bloggy self! Hope you're well :). And yes, MIL is several <i>flights</i> from us (probably 8 hours from airport check-in to baggage claim with layovers), but she's only a phone call away these days. I just don't answer anymore and keep everything to e-mail so I can watch what I say before I let something out I'll regret ...This Ro(a)mantic Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09324882155203905958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post-12880867100118816142012-10-04T15:03:09.695-05:002012-10-04T15:03:09.695-05:00Had similar issues with my late MIL. Fortunately s...Had similar issues with my late MIL. Fortunately she lived 8 hours away! But she did show up immediately after both boys were born -- had to be the first of the grands to see the baby. Can we say PUSHY!Nitewriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02003748081529399564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7356184928339139776.post-79805204015472458782012-10-04T09:56:50.865-05:002012-10-04T09:56:50.865-05:00I never did pregnant belly shots for anyone. Espec...I never did pregnant belly shots for anyone. Especially my mother-in-law! Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10495902682302558978noreply@blogger.com