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I'm kind of in need of something funny at the moment as I think I'm coming to the unhappy realization that Troubadour Mom and Dad stress me out in ways that I wish they didn't. By which I mean two things -- (1) that I wish they wouldn't do the things that stress me out and (2) that I wish I were able to accept their foibles and just be glad to spend time with them.
They flew into Seattle on Tuesday evening, and within about thirty minutes of picking them up from the airport, I was feeling the anxiety that always accompanies being around them, no matter how hard I try to subvert or suppress it. It's probably quicker to surface these days because the relationship problems in their not quite three decades of marriage have been coming to a nasty head in the last twelve months, and as much as I'd like not to be involved in that situation, I am, just because I'm part of the family. Trying to establish boundaries and asking my parents to respect them has always been difficult for me for cultural and personal reasons, which I won't get into right now (that's enough material for oh, say, a thesis?). So on a trip where we're constantly together and the little arguments between them pop off every so often or sub-arguments threaten to become full-fledged ones, I get particularly stressed.
I've resisted writing about this explicitly here for a while because I don't want this blog to become nothing but a venting space for my frustration with this situation, but I think said situation is becoming a major feature of my current life landscape. And since this blog is about trying to put down roots in the terra not-so-firma many of us live on, I think it's time I stopped trying to write around said feature.
We're in Vancouver till late tonight, so I'll say more when I get back home. I also promise a fun post on a project Newly Graduated Sis and I worked on before Troubadour Mom and Dad arrived. There are before-and-after photos ...
3 comments:
Oh dear- I know exactly what you mean. Both my parents are dead now but, much as I loved them dearly, I found it very hard to be around both of them without all of the usual bickering resulting.
Incidentally I think there is nothing wrong with a good bit of venting in one's blog :) If it helps you, then just let it out on here. I'm sure most of us can identify with the parental/child angst.
Be strong :)
Oh yeah, this situation is very common in every family, I totally understand. Try to stay calm. And on the positive note, Vancouver is a great city (yes, I'm a little biased), so I hope you enjoyed it.
Jay
FF -- thanks. Not an easy thing to write about, but I think this space will be a good one for processing it all.
VJay -- I love Vancouver. Would like to explore more of it in the near future on my own; everything we've seen has been terrific. Thanks very much for stopping by here!
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