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When I'm not here, you may find me wandering the pages below. (If I'm a regular visitor to your site and I've left your link off or mislinked to you, please let me know! And likewise, if you've blogrolled me, please check that my link is updated: thisroamanticlife.blogspot.com. The extra (a) makes all the difference!)

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For posts sorted by date or label, see the links below.

For posts on frequently referenced topics, click the buttons to the right.

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Body: in sickness and in health

I won't lie; this body and I have had our issues with each other for many years. Body image -- sure. Physical and mental overextension -- comes with being a Type A kind of girl. I still struggle with these things, so they show up from time to time in my writing.

More recently, illness, pure but not simple, has added itself to the mix in a multi-system sort of way. And the challenges in figuring out exactly what's gone wrong are many. As problems have revealed themselves in the last few years, beginning with reactive hypoglycemia in late 2008, I've documented them here, partly to gain a little clarity on managing complex conditions but mostly to give voice to vulnerabilities I feel but don't normally share with anyone face to face. Better out than in, they say, right? (Oh yes, humor is one way I deal.)

The links below cover the different angles I've examined (and from which I've been examined) within that experience.

Travel: neither here nor there

When the person you're married to lives two time zones away, you log a fair number of frequent flier miles. And if you blog about commuter relationships, you log quite a few posts en route too.

Since we're no longer in separate places, I blog less often from airports. But we do travel -- together now! -- which is much more fun to write about. So in addition to thoughts on our years of commuting, the links below cover the places we've been as a pair and, in some cases, the adventures that have happened on the way.

Writing: the long and short of it

Why do I do it? Good question. Maybe it's not so much that I like to write but that I have to write, even when the words refuse to stick to the page. Believe me, I've tried doing other things like majoring in biochemistry (freshman fall, many semesters ago). Within a year, I'd switched to English with a concentration in creative writing and wasn't looking back.

After graduating, I taught English for a few years and then worked as an editor, which I still do freelance. In 2007, I applied and got into an MFA program at a place I like to call Little U. on the Prairie. I finished my degree in 2011 and have been balancing tutoring and writing on my own ever since.

The following links cover the writing I've done about writing: process, content, obstacles, you name it. It's not always pretty. But some part of me loves it, even when it's hard. And this is the result.

Heart: family and friends

I'd have a hard time explaining who I am without being able to talk about the family I grew up in as well as the people I've met beyond its bounds. But even with such context, it's not easy! In the simplest terms, I'm a first-generation Asian-American who has spent most of this life caught between cultures. That, of course, doesn't even begin to describe what I mean to, but there's my first stab at the heart of it all.

That's what this group of posts is reserved for -- heart. The essential parts of my life whose influences I carry with me, for better or worse. The links below cover what I've written as I've learned how these forces work within me, for me, against me, in spite of me. They anchor me even as they change me, and they keep life interesting.

Recommended reading

What do I do when there's too much on my mind and my words won't stick to the page? I escape into someone else's thoughts. Below is a collection of books and articles that have been sources of information, inspiration, and occasional insight for my own work.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Ahem

You know when you get a backlog of stuff you want to blog about but life gets in the way? And then you try to pick up from where you left off and your brain laughs at you?

Hi.

I'm just going to start with where I am now -- home, for one. After D.C. Part the First, the Toronto Interlude, D.C. Part the Second, and a wedding in New York tacked on at the very end, I'm back in my own time zone. I am cried out, danced out, and slept (on other people's couches) out, and I do not want to see another plane unless it comes with a one-way ticket to a state of bliss.

D and I wandered part of Riverside Park on Monday (we had several hours to kill before our early evening flight). It was the first piece of alone-time we had since I'd left, and it felt like I'd been away from him for months. Before my trip, we'd been having ups and downs with each other because of all the May-hem (and, in general, most of 2010), so it was a strange feeling to walk hand-in-hand, connected but also not.

I found a curlicue in one of the monuments just before we left in search of lunch. I can't remember if I pointed it out to D or if I just snapped the picture in silence.

The week's been okay, though. We finally pinned the hems on the remaining two curtains, which I'm hoping to work on tomorrow while D finishes putting up the brackets for the garage shelves, and we picked some new recipes to try this weekend. Last night, we watched a light movie together, the first romantic comedy in months. And tonight -- well, tonight we have no plans. Maybe that's a good thing; it gives us flexibility, the chance to be spontaneous. But the possibility of silence scares me more than a little.

7 comments:

BigLittleWolf said...

I've missed reading your posts. Sounds like you deserve a little put-your-feet-up time after all the travels.

Hope your Friday evening was whatever you wanted it to be. Silence alone is one thing, and wears many hats. Silence with another is something else again. I hope for good words for you, or good silences.

C. Troubadour said...

That's high praise, BLW -- thanks. I've missed reading your posts too (not many opportunities to sit down with internet access while traveling). I am definitely putting my feet up. Right now, in fact, while waiting for tonight's stew to finish simmering.

Yesterday evening was all right, in the end. Taking it one day at a time.

French Fancy said...

Welcome back to a better rest of the year.

*I can't remember if I pointed it out to D * tells me how things are - once you would just have said it automatically, as it is your 'thing'. Don't worry though - all couples go through these ups and downs and after all your time apart then getting used to each other again - to the point that each other became irritating - I know, really know, this is all part of what loving couples do. It's never good all the time - most of the time is brilliant, some of the time is normal, little of the time is what so many couples put up with and then there is you and me - with the men we were always meant to be with.

Don't worry CT - it will be alright.

C. Troubadour said...

Thanks for the reassurances, FF. It does feel like this year has been a lot of getting used to each other! That's something I've been meaning to write more about but haven't been able to characterize it very well for myself yet.

theycallmejane said...

"One way ticket to a state of bliss?" I'm there! Sign me up, please! Welcome home!

SuziCate said...

Yay, another curlique! Silence between partners is ok as long as you're not holding something back. there's actually a comfort in it, a peace in just being together and knowing you don't HAVE to talk, you can just be. I hope this is what you're sliding into...it scared my newly wedded friend when it happened to her a few years ago. It's a matter of realizing that talking all the time is not necessary. I hope all will be well because you absolutely seem to be made for each other. Being together takes getting used to also, and this is all new and much difference from a long distance relationship. I'm glad you're getting a little rest. Sorry I hadn't been by here, I am still trying to get my faves lined back up after having my hard drive replaced!

C. Troubadour said...

Jane -- I KNOW, right??? I could have sworn vacations were, by definition, meant for relaxing, but I guess life has other plans for my plans.

SuziCate -- oh, I hope the hard drive snafus are working themselves out! Glad whenever you can stop by, no worries. Thanks for the wise words on silence. It's not easy to judge what's what when the only model you have is your own parents (whose silences were not instructive). Now that's a blog post I ought to think on ...

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Friday, June 18, 2010

Ahem

You know when you get a backlog of stuff you want to blog about but life gets in the way? And then you try to pick up from where you left off and your brain laughs at you?

Hi.

I'm just going to start with where I am now -- home, for one. After D.C. Part the First, the Toronto Interlude, D.C. Part the Second, and a wedding in New York tacked on at the very end, I'm back in my own time zone. I am cried out, danced out, and slept (on other people's couches) out, and I do not want to see another plane unless it comes with a one-way ticket to a state of bliss.

D and I wandered part of Riverside Park on Monday (we had several hours to kill before our early evening flight). It was the first piece of alone-time we had since I'd left, and it felt like I'd been away from him for months. Before my trip, we'd been having ups and downs with each other because of all the May-hem (and, in general, most of 2010), so it was a strange feeling to walk hand-in-hand, connected but also not.

I found a curlicue in one of the monuments just before we left in search of lunch. I can't remember if I pointed it out to D or if I just snapped the picture in silence.

The week's been okay, though. We finally pinned the hems on the remaining two curtains, which I'm hoping to work on tomorrow while D finishes putting up the brackets for the garage shelves, and we picked some new recipes to try this weekend. Last night, we watched a light movie together, the first romantic comedy in months. And tonight -- well, tonight we have no plans. Maybe that's a good thing; it gives us flexibility, the chance to be spontaneous. But the possibility of silence scares me more than a little.

7 comments:

BigLittleWolf said...

I've missed reading your posts. Sounds like you deserve a little put-your-feet-up time after all the travels.

Hope your Friday evening was whatever you wanted it to be. Silence alone is one thing, and wears many hats. Silence with another is something else again. I hope for good words for you, or good silences.

C. Troubadour said...

That's high praise, BLW -- thanks. I've missed reading your posts too (not many opportunities to sit down with internet access while traveling). I am definitely putting my feet up. Right now, in fact, while waiting for tonight's stew to finish simmering.

Yesterday evening was all right, in the end. Taking it one day at a time.

French Fancy said...

Welcome back to a better rest of the year.

*I can't remember if I pointed it out to D * tells me how things are - once you would just have said it automatically, as it is your 'thing'. Don't worry though - all couples go through these ups and downs and after all your time apart then getting used to each other again - to the point that each other became irritating - I know, really know, this is all part of what loving couples do. It's never good all the time - most of the time is brilliant, some of the time is normal, little of the time is what so many couples put up with and then there is you and me - with the men we were always meant to be with.

Don't worry CT - it will be alright.

C. Troubadour said...

Thanks for the reassurances, FF. It does feel like this year has been a lot of getting used to each other! That's something I've been meaning to write more about but haven't been able to characterize it very well for myself yet.

theycallmejane said...

"One way ticket to a state of bliss?" I'm there! Sign me up, please! Welcome home!

SuziCate said...

Yay, another curlique! Silence between partners is ok as long as you're not holding something back. there's actually a comfort in it, a peace in just being together and knowing you don't HAVE to talk, you can just be. I hope this is what you're sliding into...it scared my newly wedded friend when it happened to her a few years ago. It's a matter of realizing that talking all the time is not necessary. I hope all will be well because you absolutely seem to be made for each other. Being together takes getting used to also, and this is all new and much difference from a long distance relationship. I'm glad you're getting a little rest. Sorry I hadn't been by here, I am still trying to get my faves lined back up after having my hard drive replaced!

C. Troubadour said...

Jane -- I KNOW, right??? I could have sworn vacations were, by definition, meant for relaxing, but I guess life has other plans for my plans.

SuziCate -- oh, I hope the hard drive snafus are working themselves out! Glad whenever you can stop by, no worries. Thanks for the wise words on silence. It's not easy to judge what's what when the only model you have is your own parents (whose silences were not instructive). Now that's a blog post I ought to think on ...