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Body: in sickness and in health
More recently, illness, pure but not simple, has added itself to the mix in a multi-system sort of way. And the challenges in figuring out exactly what's gone wrong are many. As problems have revealed themselves in the last few years, beginning with reactive hypoglycemia in late 2008, I've documented them here, partly to gain a little clarity on managing complex conditions but mostly to give voice to vulnerabilities I feel but don't normally share with anyone face to face. Better out than in, they say, right? (Oh yes, humor is one way I deal.)
The links below cover the different angles I've examined (and from which I've been examined) within that experience.
Travel: neither here nor there
Since we're no longer in separate places, I blog less often from airports. But we do travel -- together now! -- which is much more fun to write about. So in addition to thoughts on our years of commuting, the links below cover the places we've been as a pair and, in some cases, the adventures that have happened on the way.
Writing: the long and short of it
After graduating, I taught English for a few years and then worked as an editor, which I still do freelance. In 2007, I applied and got into an MFA program at a place I like to call Little U. on the Prairie. I finished my degree in 2011 and have been balancing tutoring and writing on my own ever since.
The following links cover the writing I've done about writing: process, content, obstacles, you name it. It's not always pretty. But some part of me loves it, even when it's hard. And this is the result.
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Why My Fall Made Me Feel So Ashamed11 months ago
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Mantras1 year ago
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Things Fall Apart3 years ago
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#MudpunchKAL20213 years ago
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Your Hard is Hard (The Pandemic Version)4 years ago
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Thank you, and a Look Ahead5 years ago
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A New Chapter9 years ago
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Overnight Research Trip9 years ago
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how to get through a thing10 years ago
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Heart: family and friends
That's what this group of posts is reserved for -- heart. The essential parts of my life whose influences I carry with me, for better or worse. The links below cover what I've written as I've learned how these forces work within me, for me, against me, in spite of me. They anchor me even as they change me, and they keep life interesting.
Recommended reading
Monday, December 20, 2010
To the guy at the Johnston & Murphy store
In a break with tradition, my parents decided they wanted to do New Year's Eve in New York City. At Lincoln Center. Which will be amazing and novel and likely a very good time. But we haven't been to any event that posh in years and D was feeling a bit self-conscious about the not-really-formal loafers he'd been wearing with his suit to the last few dress events (weddings where no one would really care what was on his feet). The pair of shoes he bought for our own wedding was destroyed in the Great Deluge of 2008, and we hadn't found the motivation or justification to invest in another. But the upcoming trip seemed like good reason to D. So we headed out, damaged leather in hand, to see if we could find a similar pair from the company that had sold us the first.
The guy behind the counter was chatting with another customer on the way out the door when we arrived, but as soon as he saw our Trader Joe's bag (clearly containing something other than groceries), he asked how he could be of help. We pulled out the shoes and told him what had happened to them.
"You've got to be effing kidding me," he said, turning them over in his hands. We both smiled at his candor. He seemed a bit older than we were, closer to our parents' age, but not quite there yet.
"Can they be repaired?" D asked, with a hopeful look.
The guy inspected the tear by one toe, the creases and abrasions from three days of water-logging. "You hadn't even had them for very long," he clucked. He tapped for a few seconds on his computer keyboard. "What's your address?"
We gave him the information. He hummed a little as he tapped some more, clicked through a screen or two, examined the labeling inside the shoes. At last, the machine spit out a foot of paper, which he folded carefully before handing it across the counter.
"I like you," he said, with an extremely pleased look on his face. "And no, the shoes can't be fixed. But because you are such nice people, a man in brown shorts is going to appear on your doorstep in three days with a brand-new pair of these."
D and I gaped. As far as we were concerned, we had not been very nice people for most of the day. But, it seemed, the universe had decided at that moment to send us some love anyway.
We thanked the man profusely. "No, no," he said, "I'm happy to do it. I figure the last thing you need to worry about replacing after an ordeal like that is a pair of shoes."
He couldn't have known that the incident in question had happened two years prior. And he couldn't have known what these last weeks had actually been like, bloggable or otherwise. But his wanting so much to give us a bright spot in our day was what touched me. It couldn't have come at a better time, refreshing my view on life when I needed that most.
So thank you again, sir. You did more than I think you realized. Or maybe you knew. Either way, I'll have this memory as I head off into the holiday. Despite what this month has largely been, I can say, because of your kindness, that I feel more optimistic about what remains.
Thesis
- "Writing in My Father's Name: A Diary of Translated Woman's First Year" in Women Writing Culture
- Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You
- Darkroom: A Family Exposure
- Do You Remember Me?: A Father, a Daughter, and a Search for the Self
- Five Thousand Days Like This One
- Giving Up the Ghost
- Middlesex
- Simple Recipes
- The Bishop's Daughter
- The Possibility of Everything
- The Wounded Storyteller: Body, Illness, and Ethics
- Where the Body Meets Memory: An Odyssey of Race, Sexuality and Identity
On commuter relationships
- Commuter Marriages: Worth the Strain?
- Dual Career Couples: The Travails of a Commuter Marriage
- I Was in a Commuter Marriage
- Long-Distance Marriages, Better for Business?
- Love on the Road, Not on the Rocks
- Making Marriage Work from a Distance
- Survival Tips for Commuter Couples
- Ten Things Commuter Couples Need to Know
- Till Work Do Us Part
- Two Cities, Two Careers, Too Much?
Posts by label
Monday, December 20, 2010
To the guy at the Johnston & Murphy store
In a break with tradition, my parents decided they wanted to do New Year's Eve in New York City. At Lincoln Center. Which will be amazing and novel and likely a very good time. But we haven't been to any event that posh in years and D was feeling a bit self-conscious about the not-really-formal loafers he'd been wearing with his suit to the last few dress events (weddings where no one would really care what was on his feet). The pair of shoes he bought for our own wedding was destroyed in the Great Deluge of 2008, and we hadn't found the motivation or justification to invest in another. But the upcoming trip seemed like good reason to D. So we headed out, damaged leather in hand, to see if we could find a similar pair from the company that had sold us the first.
The guy behind the counter was chatting with another customer on the way out the door when we arrived, but as soon as he saw our Trader Joe's bag (clearly containing something other than groceries), he asked how he could be of help. We pulled out the shoes and told him what had happened to them.
"You've got to be effing kidding me," he said, turning them over in his hands. We both smiled at his candor. He seemed a bit older than we were, closer to our parents' age, but not quite there yet.
"Can they be repaired?" D asked, with a hopeful look.
The guy inspected the tear by one toe, the creases and abrasions from three days of water-logging. "You hadn't even had them for very long," he clucked. He tapped for a few seconds on his computer keyboard. "What's your address?"
We gave him the information. He hummed a little as he tapped some more, clicked through a screen or two, examined the labeling inside the shoes. At last, the machine spit out a foot of paper, which he folded carefully before handing it across the counter.
"I like you," he said, with an extremely pleased look on his face. "And no, the shoes can't be fixed. But because you are such nice people, a man in brown shorts is going to appear on your doorstep in three days with a brand-new pair of these."
D and I gaped. As far as we were concerned, we had not been very nice people for most of the day. But, it seemed, the universe had decided at that moment to send us some love anyway.
We thanked the man profusely. "No, no," he said, "I'm happy to do it. I figure the last thing you need to worry about replacing after an ordeal like that is a pair of shoes."
He couldn't have known that the incident in question had happened two years prior. And he couldn't have known what these last weeks had actually been like, bloggable or otherwise. But his wanting so much to give us a bright spot in our day was what touched me. It couldn't have come at a better time, refreshing my view on life when I needed that most.
So thank you again, sir. You did more than I think you realized. Or maybe you knew. Either way, I'll have this memory as I head off into the holiday. Despite what this month has largely been, I can say, because of your kindness, that I feel more optimistic about what remains.
7 comments:
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That guy deserves a big Christmas bonus! (And I bet he made D a customer for life with his kind gesture.)
Best wishes for safe, happy, and easy travels these next few weeks.
xo - December 21, 2010 at 2:37 PM
- Bev said...
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<3
- December 22, 2010 at 5:17 PM
- BigLittleWolf said...
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These bright spots - random kindness - are often what keep us afloat. Ain't life grand - at times, when you least expect?
I hope you have a wonderful few weeks away. Relax and enjoy. - December 24, 2010 at 5:55 PM
- SuziCate said...
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Ah yes, waht a fabulous start to a Merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season! I hope you guys have a great time at your posh event and safe travels!
- December 25, 2010 at 12:18 PM
- This Ro(a)mantic Life said...
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Kristen -- he did make D a customer for life. We bought a bunch of very nice socks from the place that night as we didn't feel right just walking out of there. So now D has very pretty feet :)
Bev -- hiiiiiiiiii <3
BLW -- the kindness certainly came at an incredible time. Life does have its grand moments too. I love the ones that disarm us when we have our shields up.
SuziCate -- we're crossing our fingers that the weather will cooperate! I hear a rather large snowstorm is headed for the east ... - December 26, 2010 at 1:53 PM
- Good Enough Woman said...
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I hope that you, D, and D's feet enjoyed your trip and that thinks are looking up, so far, in 2011!
- January 4, 2011 at 12:30 PM
- This Ro(a)mantic Life said...
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The trip was a good one, GEW. Hope you too are having a lovely start to the new year :)
- January 6, 2011 at 5:55 PM
7 comments:
That guy deserves a big Christmas bonus! (And I bet he made D a customer for life with his kind gesture.)
Best wishes for safe, happy, and easy travels these next few weeks.
xo
<3
These bright spots - random kindness - are often what keep us afloat. Ain't life grand - at times, when you least expect?
I hope you have a wonderful few weeks away. Relax and enjoy.
Ah yes, waht a fabulous start to a Merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season! I hope you guys have a great time at your posh event and safe travels!
Kristen -- he did make D a customer for life. We bought a bunch of very nice socks from the place that night as we didn't feel right just walking out of there. So now D has very pretty feet :)
Bev -- hiiiiiiiiii <3
BLW -- the kindness certainly came at an incredible time. Life does have its grand moments too. I love the ones that disarm us when we have our shields up.
SuziCate -- we're crossing our fingers that the weather will cooperate! I hear a rather large snowstorm is headed for the east ...
I hope that you, D, and D's feet enjoyed your trip and that thinks are looking up, so far, in 2011!
The trip was a good one, GEW. Hope you too are having a lovely start to the new year :)
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