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When I'm not here, you may find me wandering the pages below. (If I'm a regular visitor to your site and I've left your link off or mislinked to you, please let me know! And likewise, if you've blogrolled me, please check that my link is updated: thisroamanticlife.blogspot.com. The extra (a) makes all the difference!)

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Body: in sickness and in health

I won't lie; this body and I have had our issues with each other for many years. Body image -- sure. Physical and mental overextension -- comes with being a Type A kind of girl. I still struggle with these things, so they show up from time to time in my writing.

More recently, illness, pure but not simple, has added itself to the mix in a multi-system sort of way. And the challenges in figuring out exactly what's gone wrong are many. As problems have revealed themselves in the last few years, beginning with reactive hypoglycemia in late 2008, I've documented them here, partly to gain a little clarity on managing complex conditions but mostly to give voice to vulnerabilities I feel but don't normally share with anyone face to face. Better out than in, they say, right? (Oh yes, humor is one way I deal.)

The links below cover the different angles I've examined (and from which I've been examined) within that experience.

Travel: neither here nor there

When the person you're married to lives two time zones away, you log a fair number of frequent flier miles. And if you blog about commuter relationships, you log quite a few posts en route too.

Since we're no longer in separate places, I blog less often from airports. But we do travel -- together now! -- which is much more fun to write about. So in addition to thoughts on our years of commuting, the links below cover the places we've been as a pair and, in some cases, the adventures that have happened on the way.

Writing: the long and short of it

Why do I do it? Good question. Maybe it's not so much that I like to write but that I have to write, even when the words refuse to stick to the page. Believe me, I've tried doing other things like majoring in biochemistry (freshman fall, many semesters ago). Within a year, I'd switched to English with a concentration in creative writing and wasn't looking back.

After graduating, I taught English for a few years and then worked as an editor, which I still do freelance. In 2007, I applied and got into an MFA program at a place I like to call Little U. on the Prairie. I finished my degree in 2011 and have been balancing tutoring and writing on my own ever since.

The following links cover the writing I've done about writing: process, content, obstacles, you name it. It's not always pretty. But some part of me loves it, even when it's hard. And this is the result.

Heart: family and friends

I'd have a hard time explaining who I am without being able to talk about the family I grew up in as well as the people I've met beyond its bounds. But even with such context, it's not easy! In the simplest terms, I'm a first-generation Asian-American who has spent most of this life caught between cultures. That, of course, doesn't even begin to describe what I mean to, but there's my first stab at the heart of it all.

That's what this group of posts is reserved for -- heart. The essential parts of my life whose influences I carry with me, for better or worse. The links below cover what I've written as I've learned how these forces work within me, for me, against me, in spite of me. They anchor me even as they change me, and they keep life interesting.

Recommended reading

What do I do when there's too much on my mind and my words won't stick to the page? I escape into someone else's thoughts. Below is a collection of books and articles that have been sources of information, inspiration, and occasional insight for my own work.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Holding pattern

It has been a tough week. First off, I think all my recent paper writing has drained the neurons devoted to that particular job, and now they won't do a thing for me. I keep trying to focus only on the next project that's due (about 12 books to synthesize into 15 pages of interpretation and analysis on the history of footbinding in China by April 30th), but I think my brain knows I'm hiding the not-so-pretty big picture from it (one more term paper, two final exams) and it's putting its foot down. (What would that look like? A cauliflower with an extra long stem, maybe.)

If I can just cycle through these last few rounds, it'll all be over. If I can just. I say this a lot these days.

I also woke up to an earthquake yesterday morning. And if you were anywhere within 400 miles of West Salem, Illinois, you probably did too. Some reports say tremors were felt all the way up in southern Ontario.

The most bizarre part of the whole experience was emerging out of a dead sleep to the feeling of being suddenly cut adrift. It was as if my room had been relocated to some giant oceanliner, and its entire mass was being buffeted by rolling waves. The building and its contents moved as one, so there was no furniture sliding across the floor as in the tornado scene from The Wizard of Oz. Everything just rose and fell together around the stretching of the earth. The mirror propped up against the wall next to my bed was creaking at fast, regular intervals -- that was how I knew I wasn't dreaming or just having a strange bout of vertigo.

Once I really became aware of what was happening, I froze. I know you're supposed to go stand in a doorway, but I was so unnerved that I couldn't move. Perhaps this is a sign that I need to build more stability into my life. For all the talk about taking one obstacle at a time, there's something to be said for having a clear vision of the big picture too, if it's reassuring. Being with D again is what I want the future to show. In the nearer version of it, he's not there.

Hopefully, looking for a house this summer will bring a large piece of that picture into focus. Given what we just had to pay in taxes, though, will we really have enough for a downpayment? Will we be able to find something we like that we can actually afford? Again, these are concerns for a later date. I'm just looking forward to the time when I can hold them front and center before me, when nothing else is left to be taken care of first.
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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Holding pattern

It has been a tough week. First off, I think all my recent paper writing has drained the neurons devoted to that particular job, and now they won't do a thing for me. I keep trying to focus only on the next project that's due (about 12 books to synthesize into 15 pages of interpretation and analysis on the history of footbinding in China by April 30th), but I think my brain knows I'm hiding the not-so-pretty big picture from it (one more term paper, two final exams) and it's putting its foot down. (What would that look like? A cauliflower with an extra long stem, maybe.)

If I can just cycle through these last few rounds, it'll all be over. If I can just. I say this a lot these days.

I also woke up to an earthquake yesterday morning. And if you were anywhere within 400 miles of West Salem, Illinois, you probably did too. Some reports say tremors were felt all the way up in southern Ontario.

The most bizarre part of the whole experience was emerging out of a dead sleep to the feeling of being suddenly cut adrift. It was as if my room had been relocated to some giant oceanliner, and its entire mass was being buffeted by rolling waves. The building and its contents moved as one, so there was no furniture sliding across the floor as in the tornado scene from The Wizard of Oz. Everything just rose and fell together around the stretching of the earth. The mirror propped up against the wall next to my bed was creaking at fast, regular intervals -- that was how I knew I wasn't dreaming or just having a strange bout of vertigo.

Once I really became aware of what was happening, I froze. I know you're supposed to go stand in a doorway, but I was so unnerved that I couldn't move. Perhaps this is a sign that I need to build more stability into my life. For all the talk about taking one obstacle at a time, there's something to be said for having a clear vision of the big picture too, if it's reassuring. Being with D again is what I want the future to show. In the nearer version of it, he's not there.

Hopefully, looking for a house this summer will bring a large piece of that picture into focus. Given what we just had to pay in taxes, though, will we really have enough for a downpayment? Will we be able to find something we like that we can actually afford? Again, these are concerns for a later date. I'm just looking forward to the time when I can hold them front and center before me, when nothing else is left to be taken care of first.
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