I knew getting a dietitian was the first step toward some important changes, but apparently it's starting a small revolution.
I think I'm firing my endocrinologist.
It's not a straightforward story, but the short version is that on my visit to said endocrinologist's office last week to follow up on that pesky kidney stone, I updated him on the diet adjustments I've been making with the help of my dietitian. And he wasn't happy -- the caloric allowances she'd laid out for me didn't jive with what he thought I should be aiming for (he was advocating a much tighter budget). Not one to sit helpless when given conflicting information, I asked him to speak with the dietitian so that we could determine where the disagreements were in their assessments of my needs. His response: "Tell her that I have a subspecialty degree in metabolic disease" -- or some such field, I can't remember his exact words -- "and if she still has questions after that, she can call me."
Huh. Did he really think she (or I) was going to accept credential-waving as an adequate reason to follow his plan?
Sensing I was getting the brush-off, I e-mailed the dietitian after I got home, explaining the discrepancies between the recommendations, and expressed my concern. She immediately got back to me, promising to contact my doctor so that we could get the diet guideline questions resolved.
Apparently, he wouldn't talk to her.
Instead, he left a message for her with his nurse -- one that wasn't far off from what he'd told me to relay, from what I've gathered. And he's still refusing to take the dietitian's calls.
Is it ego? Insecurity? A control issue? All of the above? I'm done speculating. I need a care team, one in which the various members work together. If someone's refusing to communicate, much less collaborate, there's no way this is going to work out in my best interest. So I'm removing myself from his responsibility.
This has been a long time coming -- over the last few months, this guy has said and done other things that left me feeling unsupported and unheard. It's not worth going into detail, but each incident eroded my trust in him just a little bit more. I'm glad to be able to leave his service, knowing without question that the problems with him aren't "just in my head."
But finding that next person. I can't say I've got a lot of confidence in the current remaining team members (with the exception of the dietitian) -- they communicate minimally, by faxed lab results at best. This endocrinologist was kind of the only person who at least went through the motions of examining the bigger picture (he made the referrals to other specialists, so he got their letters back interpreting the results of their tests). I need someone willing to take the time to look closely, to pursue answers.
I happened to read Big Little Wolf's commentary on the doctor-patient relationship as all this was going on, and that, among other things, has reinforced what I've known for a while: that my search isn't going to be an easy one. But I'm looking because I have to. This mess -- or message service -- masquerading as coordinated care has gone on too long.
And I will totally sic all seven pounds of my attack kitty on the next M.D. who tells me his degree is what makes his plan (or lack thereof) superior to anyone else's.
The Morning After (a Full Night’s Sleep)
22 hours ago